Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
