i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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