I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
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