Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I want to be your penis for a week.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
