"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
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