You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
