i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
