come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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