Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
