Sry I called you an 8
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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