with your own penis?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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