If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
