So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
