I want to walk on stilts...naked
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
