For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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