My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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