we made out on top of his cat.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
