i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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