Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
