apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Congratulations! We have a period
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
