Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
