I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
