I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
