I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
