I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
a search helicopter?!
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
