And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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