I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
