My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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