Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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