hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
