Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
