Nicole vs. Life
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Pants are for mortals
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