Kareoke will never be a sober sport
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
