I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
