I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
