party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
