my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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