We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
