My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
