We won't sleep together?
i think my mom watched the whole time
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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