definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
