I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
