Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
