Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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