your room smells of hookers.
And success
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
