The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
