how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I deserve this hangover.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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