Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Randomize
