just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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