I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You're a waste of cheezeits
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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