Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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